For most of my life I have been concerned with the what if. What if I take a vacation on a whim? What if I fail this test? What if something happens to my husband on deployment? What if we get orders to a new place? What if, what if, what if...
Recently, I thought that maybe I was going about this all wrong. Maybe, it should be what if I dont. What if it doesnt...
My boss told me a story the other day about a woman that decided not to look in a mirror for an entire year. She learned to do her hair and put on minimal makeup without any assistance from any reflective surface and even adjusted the way she drove a car. The purpose of this exercise was so that she could begin to see herself differently. She wanted to see herself for what she brought to the world not what she looked like while she did it. Essentially, she wanted to change her perspective.
One of the things that used to drive me crazy about my husband was the ease with which he would spend money. If he wanted something and he had the money to buy it he went and got it. He did little research, didnt consult me, and just came home with whatever it was he wanted with no regard to the cost and no regard for tomorrow. I used to think, "my God how does this not make him nervous, what if he spent too much"? Then I realized. He has a different point of view. He lives for what if I dont.
My husband has seen the worst of humanity and literally gets shot at for his pay check. To him, there is no reason to worry about tomorrow when he can enjoy today in all of its glory. He does not worry that something will happen to him on deployments. He thinks about the time he will spend if it doesnt.
This refreshing outlook made me feel like I wasnt wasting time or accomplishing less it made me see that what I should be worried about is what if I dont. What if I dont use every minute of every day to enjoy this beautiful life.
