Fear is something that we become quite familiar with throughout the course of our lives. It starts when we are small children. We fear ghosts, the boogeyman, or the monster lurking under the bed. As we get older the fears change.
My fears began to transition from the monster under the bed into fear of failure, of not being accepted and of spiders. Yes, I do put fear of failure akin to spiders it may seem silly but to those of you that have come into contact with a good old North Carolina spider I am sure you are nodding your head in agreement.
However, when I married a Marine my fears evolved even further. I have a very tough exterior so for those close to me to imagine the person they know having any fear let alone deep, dark, emotional fears was something that was hard to swallow. But, I did and I do fear something deep down in a place that most of us don’t like to talk about. I fear being alone in the house when my husband is deployed, I fear the knock on the door, and I fear what all of that means down the road.
The glass half full side of me knows that there is a way to deal with all of these fears. Deal with them the same way that we did when we were small children. Scream, cry, and yell for your parents? Well, kind of. Talk about them and get all of those deep down and dark fears out into the open. Sometimes when we turn the closet light on those fears feel a touch less scary.
The fear that my husband will never come home is one that will never go away. However, it is a lot more manageable when I am comforted by his assurance that he is well trained, his team mates are strong and smart, and above all that his desire to come home is far stronger than any monster under the bed.
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